Sometimes it seems like it’s never ending with babies and all of the expenses that come with them. Once you’ve survived bringing a new baby home, the first year of feeding and diapering, you now have to factor in birthdays and holidays and how to celebrate with your baby as they grow. The money spending opportunities seem to be endless.
I know, I know. A baby is just so much fun to shop for. Instead of strolling in the adult sections, you’ll find yourself looking through the toy aisle or at the super cute toddler styles. The stuff is just so darned cute and cool. You can easily rationalize it by saying that they “need” the item, or they “must have it” for their developmental growth. As a parent you can spend very little on your child during the first years of their life. Until a child is around three years old, they really have no idea what they’re receiving for birthdays or holidays. Also, you may be setting the stage of what they will expect the rest of their lives. This is the reason that I recommend that the parents do NOT buy any gifts for children for birthdays or holidays until they are at least three. YEP, three. I know that this goes against mainstream thinking and customs.
HOLIDAYS:
Please keep in mind that I would never recommend that you do something that I wouldn’t be willing to do myself. I never follow the “Do as I say, not as I do” attitude when it comes to finances. I’ve lived every single one of these recommendations. Pretty much everything in this blog is something that I have done personally for my family over the years.
Our family had the rule of not buying gifts for our children for the first three years of their life and our children did not lack in clothes, toys, or stuff in general. We found that the gifts that our friends and family bought for the kids at holidays and birthdays were more than needed. I’m not saying that you don’t have a crib for your child. I’m talking about all the EXTRAS, the things that are not necessities. I’m talking especially of toys. Our kids had no idea that we didn’t get them anything. You’ll have plenty of years ahead when the kids will know who bought them what and how much it cost, etc. It’s better to wait for those days.
Don’t feel dismayed if you don’t have the luxury of having family or friends willing to buy gifts for your little one. If this is the case and it’s all up to you to supply any gifts, I would recommend the Want, Need, Wear, Read motto. It means four gifts for your child. Keep in mind that these items don’t have to be purchased new. Buying used items can be just as appreciated as new ones. It will still be new to them. When they’re young, they won’t even have a Want category. Also, if you truly even can’t afford four gifts, think about wrapping up items that you already own. They are excited about unwrapping items and making a mess and it can still be a lot of fun. Or how about giving your child a special day at the park or time together that costs nothing, but will be a wonderful memory. What I don’t want you to do is feel bad that you can’t afford to buy them a lot of “stuff.” In the long run, that’s NOT what they will remember. The best present you can give any child is to be present in their life, engage with them, and really love ‘em to pieces. It’s never about things, items, or presents.
Want: This doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to buy them the hottest toy of the season. It’s more important to find something that makes them happy. Something that they’ll legitimately enjoy.
Need: Maybe it’s a backpack or a new calculator for school, but something they actually need.
Wear: Something that will meet their unique sense of style and what they love. T-shirt, shoes…you have lots of options here.
Read: I love this one because you can really pick a title that fits their personality. Maybe they like books about trains, princesses, comic books, or Young Adult Novels.
BIRTHDAYS
If you’re a parent of a little one, I’m sure that you’ve already attended some extravagant birthday parties. Parents are spending into the thousands in hosting a party for their child. You have your gift bags, caterers, decorations, piñatas, petting zoos, rented cartoon characters, clowns, and the like. It has gotten absolutely crazy with guest lists reaching elevated numbers for a child of two. These things are all wonderful; however, they are definitely NOT a necessity for a well-adjusted child. It’s the keeping up with the Jones’ mentality. You can really end up going overboard on your finances when it’s not necessary.
I remember growing up and being perfectly happy with a birthday cake, balloons, and watermelon at the picnic table on the back porch. Things could still be that simple now as well if you want them to be. Parties don’t have to get so intense—and expensive. A small get together with cake and ice cream would suffice. It’s not important to keep up with your neighbors. It’s about the child being the most important person of the day, no matter what you do. I hope that you’re all teaching your children that it’s not the gift receiving that’s important, it’s simply celebrating the day of your birth with friends and family. Low key and simple can be just as meaningful as a huge blow out. Modeling the importance of connections over monetary spending will also set them up for their own financial decisions moving into their teen years and adulthood. You want to break the cycle of making poor financial decisions.
In having a party for your child, there are many ways that you can earn money for your family. It can be as simple as controlling the time of the party. Avoid scheduling around a mealtime where people will expect a lunch or dinner to be served. Instead, choose times like 10:00am or 2:00pm. With this adjustment, you’d only need to supply cake, ice cream, and drinks. This can be your biggest savings of the whole process as well as help reduce the stress of planning.
Making your own cake can also reduce your costs. Box cakes are very reasonable as well as frostings and can be found BOGO frequently at your local grocery store. If you want to be a little fancier, you can purchase a specialty cake pan with a fun shape or manipulate normal cake sizes into neat animals, etc. (use 2 round pans and make the cake look like a hamburger). Plenty can be found online or at your local craft and super stores. If you’re not super creative, keep it simple. I made some “fun” cakes over the years with different shapes (Dory/Nemo, bunny, initials). Definitely google DIY birthday cakes and you’ll see a ton of ideas. www.pinterest.com also has a wealth of information. It’s not as hard as you think and remember, kids are going to love the cake, even if it doesn’t look like a professional did it. It’s still CAKE. Check out my Pinterest page for party and cake ideas. https://www.pinterest.com/realpamelaferguson/party-ideas/
GIFT BAGS
Over the years with my three kids, we’ve received some amazing birthday take away gift bags that seemed to cost $15+ for each child attending. Way too expensive to supply to attendees for those looking to keep their finances on point. If you feel that you personally want to give out gift bags for the attendees at your child’s birthday party, go to your local dollar store and get some small stuff and candy. These places have almost everything that you could possibly want for all ages. It’s also a good place to look for decorations, balloons, plates, napkins, and cups for the event. Try to make as many things as you can at home to cut down costs. Toddlers are perfectly happy to just run around and play with their friends without an elaborate plan and such.
RETURNS
What do you do with those toys that your child had zero interest in and didn’t play with at all or maybe only once? I have a re-gifting bin in my closet that houses items just like this. I have received lots of nice gifts that I don’t want to keep for various reasons. I may simply have too many onesies, stuffed animals, or the age of the clothing doesn’t correspond to the correct season. I keep these perfectly nice gifts and give them out to others. Nothing is wrong with these gifts and it may not even be that I don’t like them. However, I’d recommend that if you received it as a gift yourself, notate who gave it to you so you don’t regift it right back to their child later. Oops, that could be a faux pas. If you can’t sell or regift them for whatever reason, giving them to charity is a way to go. See my blog “Gift Giving Hacks” on 4/11/21 for many hacks on what to do with gifts that you don’t want to keep.
What do you do with the endless toys that your kids get from birthday parties and children’s meals at restaurants? How many McDonald’s toys do you really need anyway? A great way to re-use these are as present toppers for future gifts. They’re bright and pull a present together nicely. A nice pop of color and creates interest to the present.
Whether you’re dealing with holidays, attending birthday parties, or hosting them, expenses are involved. It’s important to be aware of the ways to cut costs and earn money for your family. Not only is it fun to deal with holidays and birthdays, it’s even more fun to pay less for it. You may realize that you can make cuts in so many more areas than you thought.
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