As a parent, it seems like getting time alone or with your spouse is few and far between. It just doesn’t seem to happen. Well, at least it won’t happen unless you make it happen. What tends to occur when your money is tight is parents sacrifice themselves and their relationship to take care of their children. I’m not condemning or disagreeing with putting your children first, but I want to tell you that there are ways to be able to have some adult time without breaking the bank. It can be done and I’ll tell you how.
OUT ON THE TOWN WITHOUT KIDS
Once kids enter your life, it can be extremely difficult to find time to go out with your significant other for a date night. This is especially true if you don’t have friends or family in town who are willing to do it for FREE. Even though, it may be overwhelming to think about all of the details, it is a must for your own sanity and your relationship. Babysitters can be more expensive than you anticipate and sometimes may not even fit within your budget. Not only do you have to consider the cost of the babysitter, but also gas, meal, activity expense, depending on what you choose to do. It is important to point out that it’s not about where you go or what you do, but instead just getting away and being together. You could just go to the park and watch the birds, sit on the beach and talk, or even take a walk around the neighborhood. Make sure you don’t put more emphasis on what you’re doing but instead just getting time away. **Look for a future blog post about Restaurant Hacks.
In a survey done in 2018, the average babysitting cost per hour is $16.43 for one child. Assuming the average date night out runs for 4 hours, hiring a babysitter would run you $65 for one night out before you even add in what you do. Obviously, rates go up when you add more kids in the mix. $18.68 average for two kids, $20.56 for three.
Luckily for you, there are ways to avoid paying for a babysitter at all. Whew. The easiest way is if you have family living nearby. Family is wonderful to help out to let you get out to a movie and dinner every now and then. Make sure you don’t abuse their generosity and start to expect it. Try to spread the love around by using aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents (both sides). Rotating them around helps them not to feel overwhelmed.
Friends/Family
In addition to family, another great option is your local friends. This works great if your friend(s) have children as well. That doesn’t exclude friends without kids, but other parents of young children have a deeper understanding of you wanting and needing to get away every now and then. A great trick is to trade nights out. How does it work? You baby-sit their children one night and they do it for you the next time. It works out for all involved. It wouldn’t have to be every week, but you could surely suggest every other week giving you a minimum of 1 time per month alone with your spouse. The children can spend time together if they’re old enough and you got a night out without having to pay for a babysitter. Win-Win for all.
Parent Night Out
If you don’t really have anyone that would be willing to babysit for free, you can check into utilizing parent’s evening out programs offered by some churches, gymnastics & karate facilities, and local YMCA’s. When my kids were little, our local YMCA, offered a night out once a month with lots of fun things for the kids to do. There was no charge for this service. It was offered as a perk to having a membership. During the Christmas holidays, they also offered a similar evening where parents could go shopping. Sometimes even preschools or elementary schools will also offer similar events.
Hire a Pre-Teen
Consider hiring a pre-teen or young adult for a few hours to reduce your costs. There’s not really a designated age to babysit across the country. Ages 12-14 are pretty common. Make sure you don’t try to cheat them out of fair wages though. It is perfectly fine and acceptable to negotiate an “entry level” salary for them if it’s their first job. After they gain some experience and prove themselves, you can consider giving them a raise for good work.
Trade Services
This is a great one if you’re in a small town or community where everyone knows everyone else. But…it can also be tricky because you don’t want to just let anyone watch your children. Maybe you have a retired neighbor who is happy to watch your children every other Friday in exchange for mowing their lawn or doing odd jobs around the house. If you want to go this route, make sure everyone is clear up front as to what the trade is. This is not the time to be vague. The more specific, the better.
Child Care Centers
There are daycare centers complete with certifications that offer flexible hours—yes, even nights. You either will pay hourly or for a certain number of hours. The great part is that since they’re certified and licensed, there is an added level of trust. Explore your local area or mom’s groups to find something near you. Google “Drop-in Childcare Centers”.
Try a Date Day
If your kids are already in school or daycare, a date day may be a perfect solution to stealing away some adult time. So many vacation days go unused at the end of the year—55% per the State of American Vacation Report. Periodically, consider using one of those days for some afternoon fun and time together. For many companies, if you don’t use them, you lose them anyway. It’s even better if you have a flexible schedule where you can take a morning off and work later into the evening. Since Covid, your employer may be more accepting of you taking off a few hours during the day every month and making up for it in an evening.
Date Night In
If all else fails, you can put the kids to bed a little early and spend a few hours with your loved one. You can listen to music, dance, play games, or even binge watch Netflix. Ordering in can take time away from preparing a meal. As mentioned before, it’s not about what you do, but just being together. **See future blog about restaurant hacks to keep your costs on point.
Babysitting and a night out can be expensive and put a drain on your finances, but just know that there are options. Get ready for some more gray area. You have far more choices than not being able to go out at all and dropping a ton of cash on a night out. Typically, when I speak about cutting costs, I recommend cutting an activity out altogether, but this is not one I’m going to do that on. For your own sanity and your marriage, you need to get away periodically. No, it doesn’t have to be weekly, but make it a goal of at least once a month using the above-mentioned items. Did you learn something new today? If you have older children, what do you wish you had known when your kids were young?
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